Be Selfish and Worry About Yourself

Tommy Leung wrote this on Jun 13, 2018
2 minute read

There’s this hilarious video clip on YouTube. It is of a child telling her Dad to worry about himself.

She’s trying to buckle her seatbelt and having a bit of trouble. Her Dad offers to help and she refuses.

“Worry about yourself!”, she says.

It is funny coming from a child. But she’s right.

We spend too much time worrying about other people and the things we have little control over.

I spent my early 20’s in the NYC bar scene practicing the common mating ritual of young people.

It is not a particularly effective strategy. I assume it works for some but I’ve also seen men and women practice this strategy into their 30’s without making much headway.

Like going to the gym for a decade doing the same exercises with the same amount of weights. Just wasting time.

There is a memorable moment at my favorite Irish bar near NYU.

I was with a buddy of mine. A bunch of guys in button down shirts were near the pool table. We estimated they were in their 30’s or so.

They were playing pool and bragging about the different women they were sleeping with.

I remember this incident because my friend and I looked at each other and said we didn’t want to be like those guys when we were 30.

It wasn’t a good look.

Having this insight didn’t stop me from going out to bars anyway. I wasn’t sure what the alternative was.

Until I came across this quote:

“Don’t worry about finding the right woman–concentrate on becoming the right man.”

- An Anonymous Mother

That’s the kind of clever thinking I am drawn to. It is second order problem solving.

After that I started going out to bars less.

That freed up time to focus on working out and eating right. I did more reading, learning, and writing instead of drinking tequila and tonics.

I worked on getting better at my job. I learned how to save and manage money.

There’s a lot of hours between end of the work day and 10pm or sometimes 4am.

This change turned me into a much better man and attracted the woman I was looking for but couldn’t find.

We have no control over other people. But we have complete control over ourselves.

Turn yourself into the best person you can be. We all have enough faults to provide us with a lifetime of work to do.

Don’t worry about other people’s shortcomings.

Worry about yourself.

I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways

And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And

Then Make A Change

-

“Man in the Mirror”, Michael Jackson